No, not that A-Word, although I have been known to use it from time to time.
The other A-Word. The one that is a bit more uncomfortable for me to throw out there, or God forbid, use to describe myself.
For the longest time, I couldn’t even admit that I was a writer to anyone other than my closest peeps, so you’ll have to be patient with me. I’m doing things like signing MY NAME on the title page of a book. Granted, I was told to practice writing my name so people could actually read it correctly, but still. It feels a little like make believe to me… like one of the many visions in my head.
Except this one is real. Really real.
On the other hand, I’m not sure I’ve been this happy in a long, long time. I have always known that in holding back one of the biggest pieces of myself, I wasn’t really being me. I was hiding. But there’s a freedom in owning who you are, flaws and all, for the world to see. It’s scary – we’re talking a lot of flaws – but I also know that the tribe around me will see me through the good and the bad.
I’m not in this alone, and finally realizing I never was.
A friend texted this to me the other day…”You will get there. You take baby steps, and that’s okay too.”
So, thank you for reading. For buying my book. For being kind to me in the last few weeks. It’s literally better than anything I could’ve thought up in my head, and I am so grateful. I will own the A-Word eventually (Author, not the other one 🙂 ), but until then, I’m going to stick with writer. It’s what I’ve always wanted to be.
I hope you’re reading something amazing this weekend!