I hate this day. It’s the day before, and no matter how many times I try to “forget”, life has a way of remembering and seeps into my thoughts. I remember the stupidest of things.
Like I hadn’t seen her this day before, 8 years ago. I had worked, gotten a bad haircut, and gone out to eat with friends, but I didn’t take the time to go over there.
I had talked to her and she sounded pretty much the same. A certain level of hopelessness had creeped into her voice, but I had tried to ignore it.
We were gearing up for chemo and the long haul. She wanted to get to Florida again.
So tonight I try my hardest to cling to a comfort list. Something that will make everything okay, even if it is reruns of Criminal Minds. Scary, I know. Something that is so ordinary in it’s request, that it couldn’t possibly make everything okay… only it does.
I think it’s the things we completely take for granted every day that make our lives easier.
Going out to dinner.
The Young and the Restless.
It won’t take the pain away, but it will comfort me tonight, and I will spend tomorrow smiling and pretending the day away, forcing it to pass quickly. It always does.
And in my usual fashion, I will give you homework on this day: Call your mom or visit her if you can. Don’t take for granted that she is still here…
And always remember to laugh when you can.